Maybe I'm Dreaming Maybe It's Real But I Doubt It
by LUVSRW
Summary: Just another 7th year.... exactly how many times are Lily and James going to go throught 7th year? Not to forget Sirius, Remus and Peter
1. Chapter 1

_So I didn't think I would ever right another Harry Potter Fan fiction in my life. But yes. I am writing one. Not just because I am so completely bored, but because my writing has improved along with my spelling. But my grammar is still pretty much as shit as ever. And I don't think it will ever change, so you will just have to deal with it! _

_So if you didn't like my old fanfic's then it's ok. I didn't either. But I've been writing on another site, where it's a lot more flexible, they are about my favourite band Panic At The Disco. Oh and after reading there my favourite band, don't call me emo. Everyone does, and I hate it._

**Maybe I'm Dreaming. Maybe it's real. But I doubt it.**

**Being Lily Evan's Sucks Sometimes. **

Chapter 1 

I am walking onto the platform 9, 1/3. SO far my day sucks. I tripped over air; I fell down the stairs and have a burse the size of Potter's head on my leg, and another smaller burse on my arm. I don't even want to get started on what my sister did to me.

Being Lily Evans sucks big time. Well sometimes.

I can see my friends Kacey and Anna waving at me. I stop and they start to run towards me. Bugger. Kacey reached me first and bowled me over, I almost fell backwards but she kept me up right. Anna joined in second.

"I missed you so much!" Anna said loudly in my ear.

"Can you not?" I asked, as they released me. She gave me a cheeky grin.

"Did you have to go away and see your grandma ALL summer?" She asked. I nodded, and looked at me feet. "What did you do?"

"Not what I did," I looked up and blushed; Kacey gave me a scared look and Anna mouth opened. "More like Who I met." Anna's moth closed and Kacey looked normal.

"Honey I thought you were going to say, 'not what I did, who I did.' That would have been a little scary. Especially coming from you." She let out a little laugh.

"Are you going to tell your best friends, his name?" I nodded. "Well?" Anna said, looking anxious.

"Nathan." They were still staring at me, looking for more info. "Black hair, Hazel eyes, Tall."

"So he's hot?" Kacey asked. Oh that is so all that matters, NOT.

"No, he has the face of a pig." I said sarcastically. "Yes he's hot. And he lives 2 doors down from my grandma."

"Summer love, ripped at the seems." Sang Anna.

"Haha, very funny." I smiled at her. I watched as Kacey smile turned into a frown.

"And how was miss Lily's summer?" Oh damn. It's Potter.

"Fantastic, I had hot sex with a French man." I said turning around.

"Funny Lily, really funny."

"It's EVANS to you. EVANS. Can you get that into your overly large head?" I looked at his chest. As you do when Potter is around. I may hate him, but I'm still a girl. I noticed a shiny badge on his chest. It read 'Head Boy.' "What's with that? Is it Remus'?" He shook his head smiling. "Yours?"

"Yup."

"Is Dumbledore okay? I mean who the hell would make you head boy?" I had a look of disbelief on my face; he still had his cocky grin that showed off his teeth.

"Prongsie. Mooney's getting a little restless. Get on the bloody train." Said Sirius Black who took a step onto the platform. He was already in the train. "Oh shit. I mean, James come help me with Remus." He gave an uneasy look.

He looked at him, "Another time, Evans." He waved and walked towards the train and hopped in. I wonder what's with the names, and what's wrong with Remus.

"What the hell?" Kacey said with a really weird look. "What's with the nick names?"

"More importantly, what's wrong with Remus." Anna said with a worried look. They were really good friends.

"What's even weirder, is he didn't ask me out."

Did anyone notice who I described when Lily was talking about Nathan???

So what do you think? Well I think it was pretty bad. Bit it's just how the story had to start, lets see if it can get any better. Let's see if I actually write a good story. Pft, I've never done it before.

_So I won't judge what it, until you do. Tell me if you want another chapter. Because if you don't. There won't be one. _

_Caitlan_


	2. Chapter 2

So I'm back, and I wanted to write more because I am well…. BORED. Its raining. It's Sunday. It almost 11Am and I'm still not dressed out of my pj's. And all of my friends are busy.

**Maybe I'm Dreaming. Maybe It's Real. But I doubt it. **

James Potter's Life Isn't All It's Cracked Up To Be Chapter 2 

AS I walked towards the train all I could think about was how Lily kept treating me. It hurts every time I time I think of how much I love her, or how much she hate me. I want it to change. I would even settle for friends, but I know she wouldn't.

"You alright mate?" Padfoot asked me as I walked past him.

"Yeah. Fantastic." I said.

"She'll come around one day." He gave me a sorry look.

"WE all know she wont." I slumped into the compartment. I saw Mooney. He looked pale and Wormtail was looking at him with a scared look on his face. His hands were a little sweaty. I sat down next to him. "You know she still hates me."

"did you ask her out?" He asked me. I think he was glad that I wasn't worried about what he looked like. I shook my head. "Give it time." I gave him a weak smile.

"So I'm hungry." Sirius said looking hopeful.

"Aren't you always?" Peter asked.

"SO what, you are too." He replied

"Mmm, I can just imagine sinking into honey dukes chocolate right now." Sirius began to drool at Remus' words. "So warm and so nice." Peter was doing the same thing now. I couldn't help but laugh. I'm glad even when he's sick, he can make fun of them.

Padfoot snapped out of it, "Shut up. You're doing it to make me jealous." Remus reached into his pocket and pulled out – Honey Dukes Best Chocolate. Damn, now even I'm jealous. "Ohhh, can I have some?" Mooney broke off a small bit and started to hand it to him, but he pulled it back and ate it. "I HATE YOU."

"I love you too, Si." Peter looked at him in a weird way, "Not like that you idiot!" I felt a jolt and realised the train had begun to move.

About half an hour into our little trip, Lily, Anna and Kacey nocked on our door.

"Yellow?" Sirius said opening the sliding door. "Hmm, my favourite ladies. Welcome to our humble dove." Doove what the hell? What is a dove?

"Doove?" Lily asked the same question I had wanted to.

"Something I cant remember what it's called."

"Compartment?" Kacey said looking at him with a weird look.

I couldn't take my eyes off Lily. She made my world stop spinning whenever she looked at me. Which was hardly ever.

"POTTER. Stop staring at me." I looked away.

Sometimes being James Potter isn't all it's cracked up to be.

"I'm sorry Li-I mean Evans." For the first time in years she smiled at me.

"I never thought you would apologise for anything." She said to me. Oh I'm not that vain. Well at least I don't think so…

'_Your so vain, I bet you think this song is about you. Don't you. Don't you???'_

Stupid Song….

We sat quietly until Mooney said, "I'm going to get food, I'm hungry. Anyone want anything?"

Lily stood up, "I do. I'll come." He gave me a side-glance and walked out with her.

…in the hall...

"There's something different about him this year." Lily admitted to Remus.

"It's called growing up. He did a lot of it over the summer." He replied. She smiled.

"He just pisses me off so much."

"You really don't get it do you?" Remus asked.

"Get what?"

"Get why he was such a git around you. Maybe it's not him. It's you." Her smiled turned to a frown. "How much do you think he likes you?"

"It's a stupid crush." She replied.

"No Lily. It was a first, but not anymore. It's much, much more. He doesn't just like you. He loves you." He paused. "Maybe you can't see it because you think all he wants to do is have sex with you like every other girl he's used, or dated."

She stared at him eyes open wide and mouth too.

"You left a pretty big hole." Remus walked to the food cart and got some more chocolate. Leaving Lily just standing there. Not knowing what to do with the information she had just been told.

Never in a million years would James Potter love Lily Evans. It was just. Impossible.

Or was it?

So, was it good or bad? I know I always ask that question… But I feel it's necessary. Because I never know if it's good or bad until you tell me. Now in the next chapter they will be at school for most of it. But train rides are limiting… So it sucks for me.

And you might think that Lily swearing, or barley swearing but none the less swearing… is a little out of character. True it is, but I don't give a shit. Lol.

Caitlan


	3. Chapter 3

_I'm finally updating… Sorry it took so long… _

**Maybe I'm Dreaming. Maybe It's Real. But I Doubt it. **

**Lily-Billy**

Chapter 3 

Stupid Remus. Has to make EVERYTHING difficult.

"Hey Lily how did you meet Nathan?" Kacey's words snapped me out of my trance. I glanced at Potter who had a bit of a worried look on his face.

"Umm I met him while I was at the park, reading the letter you sent me." I smiled remembering the time we met.

_(flash back)_

Dear Lily-Billy 

_**Ok so I know you hate that name, but get used it. I will call you it FOREVER!!!! Heh. Anyway I got a letter from James asking where you were and if you were all right. I told him you were off having sex with some hot boy. I really like doing that to him. I saw him in Diagon Alley with his mother; they were in that ice cream shop. Enough about Potter. How is your holiday? Good Bad. Did you actually meet anyone hot? **_

_**Love Kacey**_

"Um, excuse me. DO you mind if I sit next to you?" Said a boy who looked about my age with black hair, hazel eyes and was quite tall. I nodded and he sat down. I folded up the letter, I would reply later. "I'm Nathan."

"_Lily." I replied._

"_I haven't seen you around here before. Did you just move here?" He asked. _

"_No I'm staying with my grandmother to get away from my family for a while. I'm not exactly liked by one of them. It's easier to stay away." I smiled. He seemed quite easy to talk to. I loved that in a guy. _

"_Who is your grandmother?" What's with all the questions? _

"Mrs Evans, or Miss now. She lets me stay some summers." He smiled at me. It was unlike any smile I had ever seen before. He just seemed so perfect.

"_Do you have a boyfriend?" Whoa. That was unexpected._

"_No. Why?" _

"_Because." He leant in and kissed my cheek. "Can I meet you here tomorrow?" I nodded, smiling my head off. When he left I touched my cheek where he had kissed me. Wow. _

_(end)_

"Who's Nathan?" Remus asked me.

"The hot French guy I had sex with. Remember James? I told you about him" I asked him.

"I thought you were joking." He said quietly. Remus gave me disapproving look.

"James I'm kidding. But I did meet a guy in the holidays." Anna opened her mouth to sing those words again; I clamped my hand over her mouth. "No." I let go and she smiled. I looked at my watch, SHIT. "Uhh James, you an I have to go. Or we were meant to be at the meeting about 10 minutes ago." He looked at his own watch and stood up almost sprinting out the door. "See you later." I said going out after him.

A week later…

We were all starting to get used to school. Or well Anna and I were. It was about 7am on Friday. It was time to go to breakfast, and I had to meet James to talk about Head's stuff. The job really isn't what I thought it would be. It's quite boring.

Anna and I moved to Kacey bed. We grabbed the end of her blanket, "1, 2, 3," I whispered. "GO." WE yanked it off her. She squirmed a bit. Before grunting loudly. She's a heavy sleeper. I climbed up on her bed and started to jump, Anna joined me.

"Here we go around the pony, round and round the big fat pony." I sung together. Kacey screamed and we stopped.

"Bloody hell, that's a nice way to wake up isn't it!" She said sarcastically. I smiled. I Admit I'm a little nerdish but I love having fun. Especially pissing off Kacey…

In the boy's dorm…

I was dreaming about Lily actually becoming my girlfriend when I felt something drip on my face. And then a whole lot more stuff fall all over me, it was wet.

They had tipped water all over me. "Sirius I am going to kill you!" I said loudly without opening my eye. I got up and chased him around the dorm; he threw everything he could at me. But I just dodged it. I finally tackled him down to the ground.

"Eww, shirtless head boy is on top of me, and he going to kill me." I looked down. I was shirtless. I slowly climbed of him. I could hear Remus and Peter laughing. I was still dripping wet. I looked like I had just gotten out of the pool. I flung my hair around to try get rid of the water. It went all over Sirius.

"Dickhead." He said, I pulled on a shirt with my school shirt over the top, and then my school pants. I never took long to get ready, and plus I'd already had a shower… There was no point in trying to do anything with my hair, it just did what it wanted. I did my tie loosely and walked out not speaking a word to anyone.

One thing was still annoying me. Why was lily being so, pleasant to me. It was so not right. I could hear footsteps behind me. But I kept going, all the way to the Astronomy Tower. I opened the door, and let it shut, the footsteps stopped.

I was watching the grounds below me. I heard a small creek, meaning someone was looking at me from behind. I continued to let my mind be flooded with the few good memories I had with Lily.

…Later At Breakfast… Lily's POV

"Hey Lily-billy, this came for you." I gave Kacey a glare. "What?"

"That name…" I grabbed the letter out of her grip and ripped it open. It was from Nathan, "oh."

_**Dear Lily. **_

_**I miss you lots, when are you coming back to your grandma's? For some odd reason she wont tell me what school you go to, can you enlighten me? I was walking past a florist in London the other day and I sae Lilies out the front of the shop and I immediately thought of you. The world stops spinning when you aren't around. Oh did I mention I missed you?**_

_**Tell me about your school, and I want to know about your friends too. Don't get a boyfriend while you're gone, because im waiting for you. **_

_**Xoxo Nathan. **_

_**p.s. Mum, Dad and Ella say hi…**_

"Is that from Nathan?" Kacey snatched it out of my hands. She read it, "This guy sounds like a dickhead." Quoting the letter she said, "**_I was walking past a florist in London the other day and I sae Lilies out the front of the shop and I immediately thought of you." _**Sirius who was listening started laughing.

"He actually said that?" In truth the 7 of us are all friends, apart from my dislike for James. "He sounds like a player." I coughed up the jucie I was drinking.

"Like you can talk…" I said to him.

"Are you saying that I'm a player? It's not my fault that the ladies adore me." he said with a cheey grin.

"Get over yourself." Anna said. Anna had a little crush on him, but had a boyfriend in Hufflepuff. She got up and went over to him.

"Sorry I'm Late." James said catching his breath.

"Astronomy tower?" Remus asked he nodded.

"Isn't it a little early for that? Even for me." Sirius said looking weirdly at James.

"I wasn't doing that. You dirty little boy." James said ruffling Sirius hair, to annoy him.

"I'm not little, and I'm not a boy. I'm a man."

"Just keep telling yourself that." Kacey said, Sirius got up and started walking away and was stopped when he noticed someone was having ice cream for breakfast.

"HEY, HOW DID YOU GET THAT?" He said, looking please and annoyed.

"I asked the house elves." It must have been a kid in a smaller grade because he looked a little scared.

"I WAN'T ICE CREAM!!!" He stormed out of the hall on his way to the kitchens.

"Yeah such a man." I muttered.

_So did you like it? I dunno what to think, really. I'm sorry if there are any mistakes I've missed. And again sorry I haven't updated in a while. I changed the ending like 4 times. _


	4. Chapter 4

**Maybe I'm Dreaming. Maybe It's Real. But I Doubt It. **

…**It Just Happened…**

Chapter 4 

I watched James walk up the stairs of the Astronomy Tower I followed him. I thought maybe he was going up to meet a girl fro an early morning make out session. But as I creaked the door open he was just out there staring off into the distance. He seemed to be deep in thought, so I didn't make my presence noticeable. But I did wonder if he knew someone was watching him. After a few minutes it was time to leave him. But I found it hard to take my eyes off the back of his head. It wasn't an interesting site, but it still felt good. I felt comfortable around him.

Was this a different side of James, the one who could actually like a girl, and not just date them?

I managed to tare my eyes away and walk back down the stairs. Today was going to be interesting.

"Homework Mr Black?" The potions teacher said.

"Oh but sir, I broke my arm, and then I had chicken pocks, and then I fell down stairs breaking my ankle, then I had to play Quidditch. Then Madame Flick ran out of bone mending potions and she had to put a cast, you know that muggle thing, on my leg and I over balanced on my broom and fell off. And then this morning I broke my finger. Sir, I just haven't had time." Sirius gave his best puppy dog eyes, they managed to woo girls, but usually didn't work on teachers.

"Detention, 7pm tonight Mr Black." Sirius let out a long breath and walked up to his desk pretending to whack his hand on a desk and yell and scream a bit… It didn't work though.

"This fucking sucks…" He said to James, who had done his homework. But James still nodded. James wasn't paying full attention to him at the moment he was concentrating on the red headed girl who had just walked through the door. She gave him a warm smile for the first time in about 6 years.

After she had given in her homework she sat in front of James and turned around to talk.

"James?" She asked him. He nodded, "You can call me Lily now." His jaw dropped open. "Close your gob, I'm in a good mood." His mouth closed. James was dumbfounded that she was nice to him. Lily smiled again and turned to talk to Kacey and Anna who were sitting near her.

"Were you just nice to him?" Kacey asked her, Lily nodded simply. "Wow." Her and Anna shared a glance. "You aren't taking drugs are you? This Nathan guy hasn't got you addicted to anything has he?" Lily shook her head.

"Your scaring us a little Lily-Billy," Said Anna giving each girl a worried look.

"Just leave it." Lily said, getting annoyed at her friends.

_**Dear Lily, **_

_**I can't believe it, it seems like FOREVER that you have been gone. Your letter didn't say what school you went to. Why? Is it some top-secret spy place? I get the feeling your hiding something from me. I really miss having you around. Are you coming back for the holidays?**_

_**Love Nathan. **_

Lily read his letter a few times. This was so frustrating, she couldn't tell her almost boyfriend who she really was.

"Lily?" Sirius voice said from behind her. She shoved the letter in her bag. He appeared next to her, "Another letter from Nathan?" He asked. She nodded slowly pulling out the letter and handing it to him. "You're lying to him aye?" Lily nodded again.

"Can I just not reply, save me having to lie to him again?" He shook his head. _Since when had Sirius been so – err, I can't remember the word… _

"Am I sounding smart?" He asked me. I nodded. "Shit. Lily, promise not to tell anyone…"

"You're smart even if you don't think you are." Lily pointed out. "Get over it. Now, where is James?"

"Kitchens…" She briskly walked out of the room, thoughts running through her head as to why she wanted to see him. She couldn't figure out if it was just for Heads stuff or something else. When she got there she tried to run through the painting, forgetting it was even there.

"Shit." She said rubbing her head, and then she tickled the pear. "James?" She asked through the room when she was in.

"And who would miss Evans be looking for?" Asked a very small house elf.

"James Potter, is he here?" The little elf nodded and led her over to the armchair he was in. "James?" She asked, he opened one eye and looked at her.

"Lily?" He said, now paying full attention. "What's wrong?" He was surprised to see a look of worry on her face, but truthfully, she didn't know why it was there.

"Umm," She paused, from where she was standing she left forward so she was centimetres from his face. Having no idea what she was doing, she kissed him. Not just a peck, but Lily got right into it. So did James, who was enjoying every minute of it. When she pulled away, she felt so embarrassed. Know one was watching, but it felt like every eye was on her.

"What was that for?" he asked her after watching her sit slowly down in the seat across from him.

"I really do not know. It just kind of happened."

**_So… was it as good as the others? I'm not really sure. I think I rushed this one a little to much, the others were written over a few days but this one I wrote in a few hours… Hmm, well I hope you liked it. What will happen with James and Lily, and what will happen with Nathan??? _**

_**Xoxo, Caitlan. **_


	5. Chapter 5

**Maybe I'm Dreaming. Maybe It's Real. But I Doubt It. **

Lying Is Harder Then It Looks Chapter 5 

Lily's POV

So I'm not an angel. GET OVER IT. I kissed James, and now we both have no idea what to do. I'm sitting on my bed contemplating what to tell Nathan. Whether I should even write to Nathan.

So here goes….

_**Nathan. **_

_**I am so sorry I didn't write I was so busy. So I have some bad news, remember how I said I didn't have a boyfriend. Well maybe now I do. I am so sorry Nathan, but I got the feeling we were kind of a summer fling, and you thought more. I never like a boy like that unless I REALLY like him. And it's kind of different with this guy. **_

_**I hope we can still write, as friends. **_

_**Love Lily. **_

"Hey Lily, what's that?" Anna came up to me and snatched it away. "Your not very good with feelings are you?" I shook my head. Anna was the romantic type. "I'd change it, but I think with something like that you deserve all you get." And she's mean sometimes. "I don't mean to be rude, but sometimes you just push people around. Make them feel loved and them walk away." I looked at her surprised. Do I really do that? "Make sure you don't do this to James, ok? You will see him every day, but this Nathan guy you won't face until next summer. It's different."

"Am I really that bad?" Anna nodded. "I don't really know how to act around them. It's not like I've dated everyone in the school. Unlike James and Sirius."

"Just think before you do anything more with James. Or send the letter. Is it really what you want?" Ugh, this is why I hate having so down to earth friends. They always make me feel so bad when I'm trying to make a decision.

I lay in my bed for hours after Anna left thinking of what was right. I fell asleep after a while.

The next morning at breakfast I sat across from James, and snuck little glances at him, while he did that same.

"Would you two stop looking at each other like you have some big secret." I gave a glance at Anna and Kelsey who knew we had. Then Sirius smartly said, "Oh, so you do have a secret. What is it? Did Lily do something illegal? Tell us!" I stood up and began to walk out, "I'LL GET IT OUT OF YOU… ONE DAY" He shouted at me. When I reached the hallway, I slid down the wall. I brought my knees to my chin and closed my eyes. Someone sat beside me, "I'm not really in the mood to talk." I said quietly.

"Not even to me?" James' voice rang through my ears. I looked up, "I'm sorry about Sirius, but I didn't tell him. I didn't tell anyone, but I see you did. That is judging by the looks Anna, Kelsey and you were sharing." He lent down and kissed my cheek. "I want to know if that kiss meant anything to you?" I stared at him, maybe I should show him the letter.

"Look at this." From my bag I pulled out the letter addressed to Nathan. "I wrote this after the kiss. And after I told Anna and Kelsey."

He sat there reading it for a minute, "You aren't very good with words are you?" I shook my head.

"Anna said I was a little thoughtless sometimes." He nodded, "So you think it too?"

"Sometimes, but then again, most of the time you are sweet." He smiled, "And know how to get out of trouble." I laughed at his comment. I was a little deceptive when I wanted to be. That isn't a very good trait either. Someone coughed and we both glanced up.

"So that's your secret. You're a couple." Sirius looked very happy. "I must tell everyone!"

"But S…" There was no point, he had left and was probably telling the whole school. "Shit." I muttered.

"And she swears to." James added standing up and extending his hand. "We could away play alone with it." He didn't give me the cheeky smile he usually did, this time he kissed me. Not on the cheek, more like the kiss in the Kitchens.

"Finally." Gloria Brown said pausing a bit to talk. "You two should have hooked up years ago."

TADA… I finally finished this chapter. This is the SLOWEST I've ever written a story, hopefully its better then my last ones. But I have homework, and im working on other stories to.

I'm actually a little stuck, ad thinking about stopping. Once people are together I have trouble thinking up things for them to do… I shall try though. 

Let me know what you think. 

Tata, Caitlan 


End file.
